She died years ago and I’ve missed her ever since. I’ve been looking in the wrong place.

I recently woke from a dream, wondering if it was real or not. I did the math … Mom’s now 90 … Grandma would probably be around 115 … yes, it was a dream.

1655422446400-81da441e-a689-4535-bd79-944dfe918bddIn that dream, I was trying to regain balance on a wooden plank similar to the one in my storage shed that I had recently teetered on.

She reached out her hand … I took it and regained my physical balance.

I fell to sleep the night before in a conundrum over a personal relationship … in need of emotional balance.  When taking Grandma’s hand, I felt that balance … a balance founded in the kindhearted equanimity I had always perceived as a developing child through witnessing her life approach. I sensed/felt that balanced life presence in my dream when she reached her hand out to me.

As I grew up, her repeated living example registered intrinsically in my deeper consciousness, Grandma Francie had helped me understand and feel the calming emotional stability founded in kindhearted equanimity.

I now realize how that’s one of the things that I subconsciously loved and now miss about her. It’s present in all the mental pictures I conjur up about times with her and my Grandpa Mike from the past. It’s such a grand emotion to intrinsically witness and process. Like all emotions, it’s intrincally metered, stored, and parlayed.


For you to “miss” a loved one, there has to be a reason. They must have helped in shaping some aspect of your personality and you found some form of emotional balance in the process … you miss that living essence of their presence.

Whether they know it or not … emotional balance is what every human being longs for.

Eternal emotional blance is the promise theology makes to its believers. It’s the afterlife promise of the eternal emotional extremes of bliss and torment that theology uses to lure or scare some into its following. It’s emotional balance that Siddhartha (the Buddah) attained after 49 days under the Bodhi tree. Emotional balance/bliss is the same bright white light that everyone searches for in both theology and realism.

Emotions are where the human condition meets the human experience. Emotions speak a language spelled out sensually. Emotional readouts are how humans define their quality of life.

Instead of just mentally flipping through meaningful memories … reflect on what that missed loved one emparted to you in those memories that appealed to you and helped you define the emotional quotient of your personna … like my Grandma’s living example helped me understand the emotional balance found in a balanced heart.

1655422409268-5d97fc84-5aca-426f-aa92-ff72e399821dWhen you can tie that person’s presence in your life with the development of some defining aspect of your personality, each time you feel that emotion you know they’re very much alive in how your human condition relates to your human experience … clear to your intrinsic bone. You might miss them less and love them more.

What could help you better unerstand their material passing and make you feel closer to their living presence? There’s less grief from love with nowhere to go … to realizing a love-directed joy.

Understanding the connection to their intrinsic footprint is much dearer than just bringing to mind a mental sketch outlining a mere memory. Recognizing how the life truth(s) that are better understood from experiencing their presence in those memories remains very much alive in the emotional quotient that defines your worldview in each passing present moment. This is a much more realistic understanding of the relatonal justice that we all live by. This understanding brings an individual closer to a state of emotional balance.

Many individuals get stuck ruminating in a state of everlasting grief. There are others who look a little deeper for the intrinsic connection illuminating the living essence of what the missed loved one left them with.


  1. Thanks David. This is beautiful and healing!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks Debbie. I value this comment coming from you.

    Liked by 1 person

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